Fetish Bar


Every time I pass this sign, I can’t help wondering what exactly a “fetish bar” is and what people do there. Can you order a Tom Collins with a stiletto-heeled kick in the nuts chaser? If you ask for a bottle of beer does the waitress ram it up your ass? Alas, I will never find out. My only fetish is for brainy geek chicks who wear wire rim glasses and can code in languages I’ve barely heard of.

Japanese Headbangers RAWK OUT

Name: Maria
Sex: Who knows? (lol)
Birthday: May 24
Occupation: Dream chaser
E-mail: beautymaria@ezweb.ne.jp
Height: 178cm
Weight: I’ve recently gained weight
Hobbies: singing, cosmetics
Special skill: vocal range
Hairstyle: rainbow
Favorite words: beautiful, Maria
Personality: extremely narcissistic, extremely selfish
Favorite Food: thick, juicy steak
Least Favorite Foods: shrimp, squid, octopus, crab, all shellfish
Favorite Drink: melon soda
Least Favorite Drinks: sake, shochu
Favorite Book: I hate reading (lol)
Favorite Perfume: One I have at home, I forget what it’s called (lol)
Favorite Sport: practicing vocals
Favorite Animal: Hamu Taro
Favorite Pastime: street performing
Favorite Karaoke Song: I sing my own songs (lol)
Dream for the future: to mobilize 1000 people without ever having to set foot in an office. That and to sing at the Budokan

Sembei with holy frikkin’ WASPS in them!

This is the kind of news from Japan I suspect is the norm. Am I right or wrong? I’ll admit that it’s a fact, as reported a few days ago by the Asahi Shimbun, that that a town called Omachi in Nagano Prefecture is selling rice crackers with wholesome waspy goodness baked right in.


But if you come away with only one new bit of knowledge after reading my blog, I hope it’s the realization that this kind of stuff makes the news because it’s not normal.

All the weird, zany, wacky news from Japan like this you read on blogs? Most of it is considered weird here too. I’ve seen and eaten all kinds of sembei throughout my 18 years of living here, but you could live out your whole life in this country and never come across any kind of food with bugs in it on purpose. The thing is, I bet if I started posting news like this more often, my readership and Google ranking (currently 4, which is pretty darn good) would increase. I refuse to do that. In fact, I try my best to do the opposite: show you what daily life is really like (i.e. kinda boring, really).

But I have to admit, I’d love to try jibachi sembei. If it passes for “food” somewhere in the world, I’ll eat it. Whenever there’s something on a menu that’s outrageous or I don’t know what exactly it is, that’s what I order.

And please, call them “sembei,” not “rice crackers.” It irks me it when people call food by its description instead of its real name.