I guess I’m supposed to write something about saving the environment.
- If you need to pass gas, wait until you get off the train. Like me, unless I’m in a mischievous mood. Better yet, stop farting altogether. Greenhouse gasses and stuff. Probably causes cancer too. Everything else does.
- Conserve water: sleep at work every other day and don’t shower. Like me. Cologne is your friend. Your only friend. You stink.
- Ride a bicycle and use public transportation. Like me. (Doing it while holding a camera in your mouth is optional.)
- Every half hour, walk around the house turning off all the goddamn lights your kids left on. Like me. And shut the refrigerator door all the way while you’re at it. I can’t wait till they grow up. Paybacks are hell.
But seriously, I think anything you do to save the environment will be canceled by pollution China puts out.