Apr 28 2009
APORKALYPSE!! What to do
These helpful suggestions come from a commenter at www.inforwars.com, where I like to get my news not only completely unfiltered by the media, reality or logic, but also completely unhinged. (Note: The original author wishes to remain anonymous, because he has irrefutable proof, which he's not at liberty to reveal at the present time, that the NSA is tracking his every thought via an electronic device he inadvertently ingested after it was slipped into his Swanson's TV dinner by highly placed operatives.)
- 1. Go out & buy n-95 masks or equivalent. $ 20.00 for box of 20 at Lowe’s & Home Depot.
- 2. Buy surgical gloves.
- 3. Get anti-bacterial soaps, & bleach.
- 4. Get a preventative doctors prescription for Tamiflu or Relenza, about $ 50.00 to $ 70.00 per multiple dose pack or bottle.
- 5. Quarantine yourself & go no where if possible. No guests, in or out.
- 6. If that’s not possible, wear the mask & gloves, everytime you go out. When done, come home take off the gloves throw away in bio-hazard container. Take off mask, put on shelf for use again. Wash hands with soap & water, rinse, then rinse again in mild form of “bleachwater.” Then blow, or allow to air dry. Or use seperate 2nd towel ( white ) to dry them.
- 7. You cannot go out to eat, go to the movies, or eat any prepared foods. They will not be safe. The only safe foods will be sealed in “glass jars, metal, tin, or frozen, long before the “PANDEMIC,” hit. No fresh breads, salads, open foods, fast food restaurants, nothing like it.
- 8. Do not trust or believe the mainstream news media ! I cannot stress that enough. Get your “TRUTHFUL,” news from the internet.
- 9. Do not take any shots or vaccinations what so ever ! I do not trust them !
- 10. Watch for more deaths, clusters, & such.
- 11. Once people get scared & panic, it’s gonna be nuts. And you won’t be able to get food, medical, supplies, water, or anything.
- 12. Please run out now, & buy what you need, right away. You should be stocked up already as you’ve been told for all other types of “end of the world scenarios.”
- 13. The CDC & other sites have good information on how to protect yourself.
- 14. Do not seal up your home airtight ! You’ll run out of fresh air qucikly & die of lack of oxygen.
- 15. Of course keep your doors & windows shut.
- 16. PRAY !
I would like to add my own advice:
- Scream while flailing your arms and running around in circles.
- To assure yourself an empty seat on a crowded train, wear a sombrero, cough and sneeze loudly while muttering to yourself in Spanish.
- Stock up on water-based lubrication. The indiscriminate, all-out, end-of-the-world sex is going to awesome for those of us lucky to survive a few days longer than everyone else.
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10 Responses to “APORKALYPSE!! What to do”
You forgot stay away from old people they are the first to turn.
Later rich, off to walmart to stock up on ammo.
Thank you for bringing infowars to my attention, I had never come across it before.
There's nothing that makes me laugh more than paranoid & terrified conservative wackos swimming in their collective shit
Actually the people who write and read infowars.com don't seem to be conservative or liberal. Just fearful and paranoid. There's a lot of 9/11 truthing (anti-Bush) and New World Ordering (anti-Obama, anti-UN) going on there, so I assume they're anti-government, regardless of who's in charge.
0_o you are a strange person. do you need to go to the crazy people house???? by the way Rich Pav did you get that avatar from face your manga? it's awesome!
Hey Rich I really would like your opinion on this:
http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/
I seems to be not so fearful and paranoid. But rather realistic.
Please tell me what you think.
Venturas last blog post: Awakening – The human movement @ [site]
Ventura: OK, I watched it. The part about 9/11 being an inside job would be believable if it weren't for all the conspiracy theory-debunking websites out there.
i personally love how if the author gets his way, 12 will lead to 11 anyway.
matsudolegends last blog post: What Islam is and what it isn’t – Part I @ [site]
[...] found the following list posted on a blog that i regularly read. it was originally a post by a commenter on infowars.com. THE site of choice [...]
On or local radio show here in Melbourne (Australia) Hamish and Andy http://www.fox.com.au/shows/hamishandandy/listen called up various massage places as a Mexican who was recently in Mexico (and here as an ambassador) trying to get a massage… sounding like he was going to keel over… they finally got a booking, but the woman was as she said a hippy, and hasn't watched the TV or listened to the radio, so she hadn't heard about the swine flu… people were dropping their calls and stuff before that…
That's what I want – advice from a guy who recommends anti-bacterial soap to combat a virus. Clearly a knowledgeable chap.
Furthermore, it's the flu – you either recover or you don't. When I get the flu, I'm rarely in the mood for an apocalyptic riot.
If he has a readership that needs to be reminded that running out of oxygen is a bad thing, perhaps they're going to the right place.
Of course, being wary of the media, but trusting the gov't-run CDC, which advises against much of what he says, is an interesting twist, too.
Garretts last blog post: Tokyoswallows.com @ [site]