Canned Oxygen

As far as a 500 yen can of air goes, there’s not a whole lot you can do with it that’s interesting. But there you have it.

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Rich Pav

Richard has been living in Japan since 1990 with his wife and two teenage sons, Tony and Andy.

7 thoughts to “Canned Oxygen”

  1. Canned oxygen is by far the dumbest thing to have hit the market here that I can remember. When it first appeared on convenience store shelves a year or two ago, they toted it as the new bottled water. I think it beat out “bags of dirt” or “gourmet saliva” because it was lighter and therefore cheaper to ship, and they could mark it up higher.

    I want to make this totally clear: nobody buys the stuff. These days, instead of occupying prime shelf space next to the cash register there are only a few cans on an out-of-the-way bottom shelf. It’s obvious that the marketing geniuses at 7-11 grossly overestimated the stupidity of Japanese consumers with this product, and I hope some marketing executive lost his cushy job over the fiasco.

    This was the second time I bought a can of oxygen. The first time, Tony found it and sucked it dry before I could make a video showing how colossally stupid a product it was. The only good thing about it is it makes me realize how much money I save every day by breathing the free stuff. I’ll tell you, compared to $5 a can, the oxygen available in our atmosphere, although nowhere near as pure, is the bargain of the millennium. It also puts overpriced bottled water and hoity-toity Starbucks and Tully’s coffee into a more realistic perspective. These days, I make cheap coffee at home and carry it in a thermos, and drink filtered tap water from the kitchen faucet.

    I have a theory as to why some moron thought canned air would make a killing here: it’s because the law against recreational drugs are so draconian. The closest thing you can get to a high without being thrown in jail is wiffing pure oxygen. It’s too bad the civilized world can’t get its collective head out of its ass and legalize marijuana. People would be a lot happier if they could buy pot onigiri, pot chewing gum, pot brownies…but that’s just my opinion.

  2. Dazsly: If canned oxygen makes you think of Spaceballs, then obviously you’ve never watched David Lynch’s Blue Velvet. Dennis Hopper’s screaming “Mommy! Mommy!” into his nitric oxide mask gave me nightmares for years. I thought about doing an impression of it in this video, but I was afraid not enough people would get the joke, and I’d scare the pants off my kids, scarring them for life.

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